My bed overwrites my desire

I'm back.. After being bedridden for the past 2 days that is. I meant to blog earlier, I really did.. But pain and laziness have kept me from switching on my pc. *yawn* sleeping too much will morph you into a pig..

Anyway, for those clueless, I did a minor surgery on my abdomen on Monday morning. It was just like in those serials on hospitals.. Bright flourescent lights, steel-cold metal beds, and hard as a rock pillow. As it was a day surgery ward, it was brrrrr-cold. I was just hoping for the anaesthetist to start fast and let me get on with blardy life.

And so, I was wheeled in (on a bed!) to the operation theatre (!!) at around 12noon, clad in grumpy hospital gown and droopy shower cap (how else do u call it). A doctor dressed almost the same as me (different gown print) came in, put on his surgical gloves (lightly powdered, the box said) and introduced himself to me.

Doc: Hi I'm Dr Tee, your anaesthetist for this surgery
Me: (looks into his eyes) ok
Doc: I'm going to prepare you before Prof Wong works on u
Me: Who's Prof Wong??
Doc: Your doctor Prof Wong.
Me: My doctor is not Prof Wong -_-"
Nurse in background: NO NO.. Her doc is Stephen Chew, Dr Stephen Chew
Me: (thoughts) Wah piang.. This Dr Tee kan blur.. ;P

Anyway, 3 mins later, Dr Chew came in wearing the gown too, showing off biceps fair as white-cut chicken, that has probably never seen the sun in the past 20 years. Shivering and totally not looking like a surgeon, it made me wonder what shit I've gotten myself into.

In any case, at this exact moment, a nurse gave me a mask and told me to take deep breaths of the oxygen... Mmmm... Quite shiok! From the corner of my eye, I saw Dr Blur Cock adding in some clear liquid into my drip. Operation lights start to dance... and the rest is history.

The anaesthetic has long worn off, and my abdomen screams blardy murder each time I attempt to make any movements. When I told Dr White Chicken that my tummy hurts like hell, he looked at me and said I looked so poor-thing (!!??) and told me to take a rest and winked at me. WHAT DA HELL!

Anyway, when I'm bored of lying on my back, I naturally turned left, and felt my insides all whoooooosh to the left. Bad choice. So turned back flat. Tried to turn right. Whooooosh to the right. SHIT. I better lie flat.

Now I'm stuck at home with no lunch in sight. Sigh! Anyone willing to tabao for me? ;P

Noble lunch...

My colleague commented that I looked happy today, pink cheeks, smiley... Oh I wonder why I'm happy! Wonder why~~~~~ Maybe, oh just maybe, for the fact that I'll MIA from this place for 3 whole weeks, maybe for the fact that I don't have to bother about the upcoming "emergency and safety event" in PRC in May, those countless brochures for my insurance client, changes and more changes for my liquor client. I AM SUCH A BITCH. So? Sue me lor.

Anyway, I'm going to meet SC, my ex-colleague, for lunch at Noble House. I think that's another reason why I'm smiling.. It's been a while since I had that. Would love to have sushi and hana maki etc.. But there doesn't seem to have a sushi outlet close enough to my office.

In any case, back to my leave taking issue - being the workaholic that I am, I guess I would feel lost staying at home, not working and away from civilisation (especially since I have to take a cab out of my estate to buy a pack of cigarettes even). Also, I'm actually quite fearful of what will happen to my fort that I've painfully built up over the past year at work. What if my clients get pissed? What if everything is screwed up by the time I return to work in mid-May? *keeps fingers crossed* Also, I may miss another chance to go China for work :(

Oh well, I'm not superwoman, I need my rest right? (Why do I sound like I'm consoling myself??)

Whatever it is, today is my last day of work for the next 3 weeks. I better enjoy it.

Time is crawling

My bonnie lies over the ocean... My bonnie lies over the sea... My bonnie lies over the ocean... Oh bring back my bonnie to me.. (If I knew what bonnie was that is..)

I.AM.SO.GODDAMN.BORED.

My company's intranet is down, was supposed to get down to do mundane filing today, but without the intranet, i'm like a fly without wings, fish out of water, artist without brush, farker without *beep*.. You get the point..

So, now I'm looking at my client's HK database. Am so fed up with this database, I DO NOT understand why I'm tidying up the base for her.. I'm not an admin gal, neither am I part of IT team (who has possession of dbases) - but here I am straining my eyes to go through thousands of records to make sure there's no China/Malaysia/Singapore jokers in this HK-only base. And to make sure there's a UNIQUE serial number to every joker, is this really what I shld do? Fabricate a UNIQUE serial number? I'm playing god! God of database that is. (wtf am I ranting about? lol)

Being an AE is really tough job. If you're aspiring to be one, think twice, thrice, hundred times. Here's why: Never get enough jobs (your fault as presentation not "sart"), design not nice (your fault as brief buay sai), cannot deliver on time (your fault as no time management). Everyone's fingers will straightaway point to YOU. Oh, did I forget to mention, OT no extra pay?

Ok ok, I know, jobs are hard to come by nowadays, and money is hard to earn. That's why I'm complaining here right? (No Action Talk Only) -_-"

Tearing out my hair

Wah piang, I'm really hitting my head against the wall. Trying to revise some creative concepts here. What do f**king Blue Label drinkers like to do in their free time?!?!?!??! *tears out hair*

Guess what my friend said?

Mayo says:
what do u think is the F**king hobbies of blue label drinkers?
Mayo says:
other than golf
A says:
f**king lor
Mayo says:
thanks!!!!

That was a real great help! Maybe I can propose some classy condom premium when they buy the bottles. Buy 1 bottle get 3-in-a-pack.. Buy 3 bottles get 1 year supply... All in a classy metallic wrapper...

But then again, Singaporean men need only what... 79 condoms a year...?

Argh! #$#%$^^&&&**&%*%%$ Help me please................... Mind not working.......

A day in the life of Lim Teh Peng

Hi everyone! I'm alone in the office yet again.. (But it's ok cos it's only 8.13am now) I love to be alone in the office.. Quiet.. No dragons breathing down my neck, no arrows waiting to strike my back.. Seems like blogging has become my morning activity, well, I call that making full use of my time as I'm having my breakfast of fried noodle and Teh Peng (I'm not called Lim Teh Peng for nothing.. haha) at the same time.

Anyway, I was looking through Friendster yesterday, and realised many of my polymates went on to become Singapore Gals. Not to mention that 3 of my close friends are also SGs. So I msn-msged Auntie Shir (who is my polymate turned colleague sitting behind me in the office) and exclaimed this fact, and she replied, "That's because they're pretty!"

It's not that I never thought of joining that trade, and it's also not that "ooooh, I luurrrrrrve flying and meeting people", but very honestly, I did try interviewing for that (courtesy of Trista who asked, persuaded, and begged me to accompany her, who eventually went on to become a successful one).

Looking back, that was a little more than a year ago, when I hit a deadend in my so-called career path and not knowing what to do next. But nevertheless, I was too short so didn't make the cut. Haha, waste my blardy time. But look, if I had made it, I'll probably would not be who I am now.

Anyway, ending up as an AE was probably what I wanted in school. But after a while, things get stagnant, work becomes standardised and you start wondering where's the freaking passion again. Proposing, presenting, and winning pitches are no longer exciting to me. *yawn* Not sure if it's like that for every job, every industry, but I'm definitely feeling I'm getting nowhere in life. Do you feel this way too?

Big sigh. We're all God's puppets maybe.

Going on leave

I think i'm making too many announcements these few days. But here's another one - I'll be going on leave for 3 weeks from next Monday due to personal reasons. Monday is a totally free free FREE day for me. So PLEASE date me out.

U're welcome to come over to my humble lodge for fun & laughter, peace & joy. We can cook up a storm together, watch vcds/dvds, swim, sink, anything! Just come and help kill my boredom. I have nothing in my fridge at the moment except a truck load of drinks (Pokka Coffee, Jia Jia Herbal Tea, Vitasoy, Red Dates/Lychee/Chrysanthemum/Milk Tea packet drinks, peach green tea/ILT courtesy of petrol pumping at SPC, Pepsi Twist, Root Beer, Carlsberg, plain water), and have no fun/games, except for my pc and Jenga. Oh for the alcoholics, I still have white wine, red wine, Bailey's, Cordon Bleu, Absolut Vanilla in my cabinet.. Feel free to come and clear them out for me.

By the way, sincere apologies to my colleagues who will be wiping my ass during my absence, but I'll try to clear as much stuff as possible ;-P

Rainy days & Mondays

Yes, it's the most dreaded day of the week (again!).. Don't know what's up with my dog (the male one) nowadays, it's as if i'm ill-treating him or starving him; whatever the case, he starts to holler at the top of his lungs for his breakfast at 6.30 for the past 10 days. Yes, you read it right, Six Farking Thirty am. I don't even get to eat till 8.

Anyway, back to my Monday blues.. I hate Mondays as work (piled up from last week), usually come catching up on me on Mondays, and today, is definitely no exception.

Another announcement I would like to make is that I've lost ALL MY CONTACTS in my mobile. Story in short - recently bought an O2 Mini, keyed in my contacts manually (My old phone Samsung cannot copy to SIM), never knew I had to backup my contacts, phone hanged, hard reset. POOF! Goodbye contacts *waves*

So, I've essentially lost everyone's number. Poly, Sec, JC, ex-colleagues whatever.... All gone in 60 seconds. Kindly text me and state your name so I can get back your number ok? (edel, need yours too, and shav's home number also.. ash? Joyce? Angeline? *cries*)

Isn't this the most wonderful start to my week?

Latest Update!

Latest update! Called WRX from my office number and to ask him when he can pass the O2 mini hp cover to me. No one picked up.. Then my office phone rang..

Me: (knowing it must be mine) Hello, Q******!
Lady: Hello may I know who's looking for WRX? He's driving now..
Me: (in shock) Uh, me. (realised that sounded stupid, muttered my name softly)
Lady: Ha? May I know who u are?
Me: Oh, I'm Mayo, but it's ok, I'll call him back.
Lady: Oh, it's ok ha.. I'll tell him that you called.

WAH PIANG. I think that's Fish, and I got no goddamn idea why, but I was so scared of her... LOL..

Sorry WRX, if she flares up at you later.. Pai say leh! ;P

Athletic Chicken Leg

Back from my meeting, thankfully all went well and she's pretty impressed with my ideas. *phew* With this load off my shoulders, I feel 10 kg lighter!

Anyway, I promised to give you more examples of bad English so now I shall deliver my promises. Jo and I used to have this guy friend (forgot his name leh, let's call him BEG "Bad English Guy") who was more than interested in her. Although she wasn't sooooo into him, he was quite an ok entertainer so we do go out on shopping trips with BEG.

So one day we were shopping at Taka toys department, he was shopping for something for someone (I think):

BEG: Ay, look at this towel...
Jo & I: (looked at him pointing at a blue Hello Kitty towel) Ya...
BEG: The 25th (pronounced: twenty-fiveth) anniversary word on it very ugly.
Jo & I: (being the meanies that we were, cos we wanted to hear him wrong again) What?
BEG: That one lor, the TWENTY-FIVETH anniversary words, so ugly..
Jo & I: (*roll eyes*)

Another example of bad English from the very same BEG, this time I was not there:

Jo: (having difficulties with her meal of chicken leg)
BEG: Come let me help you.. (tries to tear Jo's chicken leg apart)
BEG: Waaa.. This chicken meat are very tough, last time confirm athletical.
Jo: ?!?!? (mentally taking note so that she can gossip with me later, made a fake "I wanna buy a drink" and quickly made a right turn to call me)

HOW CAN ANYONE'S ENGLISH BE SO BAD?????????????????

I can list more examples.. But I'm not so mean *smiles sweetly*

Interested in some funnies-on-the-job stories? Check this out (from my mean partner-in-crime)!

Pet peeve...

Yo... Mad rush this morning, but just noticed something that irks me to hell and back. Gotta rush to my client's place in 15 minutes but show u this for now. Can'ts blogger be a little better in grammars?

Later I shall share with you examples of bad English. Sure to make u laugh.. But not now la huh *sweat*

Wish me luck *_*

WRX running on diesel

Thought some of u might be interested in what is happening to grave-digging WRX. Read on to see our msn conversation this morning. Classic example of "thou shall not go back to your ex" or "Good horse don't eat turn-back grass":

Me says:
so how's fish?
WRX says:
she's ok lah... but sumtimes abit weird... like sticky...
Me says:
sticky fish?
Me says:
eeeww
WRX says:
i spent the whole tue since morn with her then at nite when i wanted to lve ard 10 plaus, she told mi not to go cos she can't bear to let mi go...
Me says:
?!
WRX says:
i was like ?!?!?!?!?!!?!
Me says:
same sentiments
Me says:
LOL
WRX says:
haha
Me says:
........................hahahhahaha
WRX says:
then she said i can drink coffee with my frens till late then y can't i stay with her till late...
WRX says:?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!? again

P/S: WRX running on diesel means = engine will spoil soon

Happy days are around the corner! Which corner ha?

Firstly, I would like to applaud myself for finding the time to blog regularly (at least for the past 3 days I did!). Secondly, for being so hardworking and actually 80% finished my marketing proposal last night (sprawled on my sofa with lubricating eye drops within reach and tsunami documentary distracting me in the background). Thirdly, for waking up early this morning to feed my dogs (one started singing at 6.30 cos he's hungry =_=") and still managed to pick nice clothes (complete with LV sandals) for work today. Feel so happy cos I smell great! Feel great! And (hopefully) look great!

Anyway, I'm alone in the office AGAIN. Like what's new right? Funny cos I think my contract stated "Working hours: 8.30am - 6.00pm", where the heck is everyone?!?!?! So with no one in the office, naturally I become the unofficial telephone operator, and the habitual blogger :P

But hey, don't assume I'm shaking my fat legs doing nothing here ok. I have a grand total of 2 posters, 1 training guide, 1 enewsletter, and 1 proposal (either soft copy or hard copy format) all spread out infront of me. And while I'm happily typing on the keyboard, my mind is going at a 120km/h thinking of what I should do next/first. Talk about multi-tasking man.

Anyway, I know my birthday is over, so is Valentines/Friendship Day, so there isn't really a reason for a present... But I need a nice pen. Anyone has a spare?

Just joking.

I'm satisfied with my red leaf (if only it doesn't keep going MIA on me when I'm out at meeting).

Puny ****

Don't worry, I'm not going to start ranting on any x-rated stuff that I've seen. **** does not equal to ****, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, my polymate cum project pals cum smoke buddy Edeline-san came over (all the way!) from Parkway to my office in Shenton Ghost Town Way last evening for dinner. Was supposed to meet in Parkway where there's shopping and food, but didn't managed to get off work till 8 plus yesterday. *sigh* So she patiently read ST at the coffee table in my office while waiting for me finish up my shit stuff. By the time I was done, glazy-eyed me looked like I was about to faint anytime, so in any case, we went downstairs for a simple Jap dinner.

For those of you who do not know what happens when 2 girls meet up (esp after a long while), read on...

So there we were - 2 pathetic souls tired out from our daily routine hamster run, sipping tea (hers hot due to reasons-I-shall-not-reveal-here and mine iced) and catching up on each others' lives. Well, thinking about it now, we talked about men in our last conversation, we talked about men in our last conversation, WE TALKED ABOUT MEN IN EVERY CONVERSATION WE HAD IN THE PAST YEAR!! What's this with us and men, you may ask. Well, I think it could be better phrased as "What's wrong with OUR men?" (be it legitimate, scandalous, expired etc)

For now, I think I better keep the answer to myself *smile*

Anyway, at least we girls bother to analyse situations and talk about men, about their actions (and most of the times, inactions). However, what do men talk about when it's a "all-men night out"? <---Is this possible? Do men actually discuss about the women in their lives? Or is it just about cup sizes (a handful is enough. RIGHT.), moan level, cute factor, and other superficial things (Eg. zi kor zar bor eh gan eh! or Knn.. Ke pai kua, long chia bin!)

Tell me about it, please.

My eye is bleeding

I shall horrify all of you with my bloody eye.

I'll be a frog no more!

Ladies and gentlemen, let me formally announce this piece of good news to one and all. I've successfully undergone a Lasik surgery to correct my -6.00 per eye myopia and is now a proud (and pretty! and poor!) owner of a pair of +25 (long-sightedness) healthy eyes! Oh, don't worry cos the longsightedness is temporary and will stabilise in time!

And for you who are still in myopic tragedy, please, PLEASE, PLEASE! go for it! Albeit it's expensive, scary, painful (yes, everyone lied to me abt the pain "Oh! Not pain one la!") etc. But if you were to weigh the pros and cons, think it's worth every miserable cent.

Shall I proceed to terrify everyone with what went on during the surgery? Muahahhahahaha....

Scary Points:
1. You can see every bit of what's going on.
2. You wish to close your eyes, but cannot. (duh)
3. You can smell the smell of eye burning.
4. I could see smoke rising from my eyeball.
5. You can struggle, but it won't work. My doc was holding my head like it was a durian.
6. I told my doc that it hurt when he inserted the "eye-opener" but maybe he didn't hear me.
7. I have 2 eyes.
8. They needed payment before the surgery because all they want is my money I may not see very well after the op.

And now for my new-found happiness..

Happy Points:
1. No more dry eyes with contact lens.
2. No more specs marks on my nose.
3. No more migraine that comes with wearing my specs too long.
4. No more scrambling to toilet to put on my lens before I go for meetings.
5. No more messing up of my dressing table with all my lens barang-barang.
6. No more paying for specs/lens/solutions.
7. Pretty big eyes (big pretty eyes? Eyes pretty big?) with mascara *wink*
8. NO MORE LOOKING LIKE A FROG / AUNTIE

My darlings, if you got the moolah, just do it!

Changes and lost chances

Spoke with WRX last night and it's confirmed - Yet another poor unfortunate soul (it's sad! but true!) stepped into the grave (not the ultimate grave called ROM yet, but digging his own hole now). Yes, he has given up GS300 and potential Cyber Babe... For Fish (his ex-gf). Well, to explain why he left Fish in the first place, is so excruciatingly painful and long, that I will not explain.

Anyway, sidetrack a bit, someone once told me ROM is so-named as it's the Registry of Mistakes. LOL, is that true or wat!

So why the heck am I posting this anyway??

Well, I just needed to discuss this ---> People nowadays (sweeping statement I know) marry for the sake of marrying, be together because there will be lots of trouble otherwise, to fulfill others' expectations etc. (Yes, Jo, like you say) I'm not saying this is essentially right or wrong, but it makes the whole world an unhappier place to live in. Gone were the days or stories (ala Romeo & Juliet) that it's love or DIE. And in this day and age, guys DO NOT need love anymore, give them status, money, cars, MORE money anytime (and if this package comes in the form of wife - lagi better!). Where's the pure innocent love to withstand the test of all time? Where's the unconditional care and concern that one should shower the special somebody? Someone, ANYONE, please tell me hope still exists in this world.

Anyway to WRX, I sincerely hope you can find the perfect someone to share your woes and happiness, hopes and future, and I hope you can find it in Fish. There. :) Congrats!

Somehow I feel I'm not making much sense. Ha.

Time flies whether we like it or not

Guess I'm feeling melancholic (again!). For people who don't know or are deluded by my appearance, I'm actually a very depressed person who lives life just because I'm alive. I look upon death as an excuse for a perpetual sleep and I do not believe in heaven nor hell; either place doesn't seem to be inviting anyway.

But before you scramble to get me that SOS number - Don't worry, I still haven't found the courage to take that step. Probably because I'm a curious person, and I would like to see what it'll be like in future. But then again, people say curiosity kills the cat right?

Anyway, it's been a while since I've updated my blog, simply due to the fact that I'm so bogged down by work that I can't seem to do anything else. Time flies (Very fast) and it just makes old memories seem like they didn't happen at all. It's nearing April 16.. Sigh.. Please don't ask what the date is all about. ANYWAY, my work piles up into disgusting piles of paper so messy that I won't be surprised if I were to find a dead cockroach within. No one seems to realise that I'm not coping, my work quality is declining, my mood is like shit. Or is that called indifference? Or am I just a sitting dumbass duck? (with many arrows on my back)

As of now, my head is throbbing with the sheer pressure of not being able to finish my work on time. Especially since my Lasik operation is scheduled on Friday (finally!!!! I can throw my Gucci specs away - But that's another story) and I'll be away on so-called medical leave. I do not want to disappoint my clients, neither do I want to kill my own creativity and work ethics by not delivering on time. Knn. Life sux, more than my Osim i-ecologi does.